What does Nature mean to me

When I hear the word nature, I immediately think of all the greens and blues. Greens meaning the grass that blows in the wind and the tree tops that shadows the ground and sheds its leaves. Blues meaning the day sky that hovers above us and the waters that come in the forms of oceans, streams, rivers, and lakes. Even though most bodies of water do not have a blue color to them, I will always associate them with the color blue as learned in preschool.

As I began to grow older, nature became more than the place to run around in with my friends, but it "has served as excellent therapy" for me (745). I now seek out the elements of nature, especially its bodies of water and the shadows of the trees, to nurture me in my time of need. Since I have moved to Austin, I have realized just how much I was dependent on the presence of my mother. She was like my comfort zone, my shield from all harm. Just to have her sleeping on the living room couch was enough for me to feel protected from all wrongdoings that could be inflicted on me. Well fortunately she could not move to college with me, which left me searching for a new comfort zone. Someone or something I can run to if needed. The nature that surrounds the University of Texas has become my "mother." The phrase mother nature is used alot to emphasize the rapture nature can have all over the world. I never really understood where "mother nature" came from, but I feel that nature does share similar qualities with mothers.

I have been really happy since I moved to Austin, but there has been one occasion where I had to turn to the surrounding nature to comfort me. I did not stray to Waller Creek that night; water tends to be my favorite place to release tension and clear my head. Instead, cold night I settled for walking around campus and observing nature. I eventually ended up near the big fountain next to the Winship Theatre building. I sat on a nearby bench and just listened to the sound of the water going through its constant cycle of overflowing. All around me "in the midst rises a mass of mighty buildings" I was surrounded by buildings but more importantly trees (317). While the constant flow of water in the fountain went along with all of the thoughts going through my head, I felt the security of the trees that were bearing over my head. Even though, I was sitting at a bench during the late hours when I should have been in my dorm room, I felt safe with the trees "hugging" me like my mother does when she knows something is wrong and was calm by the flow of water in the fountain.

"Not the fruit of experience, but experience itself, is the end." (635) I believe this to be true; what I take from nature every time I interact with it will stay with forever. Even though I can never go back to that particular second I felt rejuvenated or the sense of purity, those feelings can never be taken away from me. I think that is why I seek refuge in nature; it is an emotion that can not be described which overwhelms me when I am in a garden or sitting at the beach glaring at the waves.

Being at the University of Texas, I am able to find comfort all over campus. There are so many naturally beautiful places to visit and there are some places that were designed to evoke a beautiful presence, but it doesn't matter how it was created I still feel the same sensation in both. Waller Creek and other relaxing places on campus like the Tower Gardens are "a good and pleasant site where there is a wholesome and temperate constitution of the air; composed with waters, springs or wells, woods and pleasant fields; which being obtained, those commodities are enough to invite students to stay and abide there" (316).

Am I homesick??

I can still remember the Thursday afternoon when I walked tiredly to mail box and was anxious to see an addressed letter to me from the University of Texas. The anxiety of what was on the inside of the letter was getting to me because i dropped all of the mail trying to lock the mail box back. Even though the mail box center was relatively close to my apartment, it just seemed like I couldn't get there fast enough. As I shut my front door, I immediately opened the letter to find that I was admitted into Plan II. Words could not describe how I felt at that moment; all I could do was jump up and down with excitement and call my mother with the good news. I also remember getting my acceptance letter, but it was not nearly as exciting as getting the letter from Plan II. Maybe because I already knew I would be accepted by the Top Ten Percent rule. The final months of senior year and the summer just did not go fast enough for me. I was so ready to start a new chapter in my life in a different environment and school. I was so excited about the prospect of being an independent college student away from home.

I always dreamed of the day when I would move away from home. It's not that I had a bad childhood and was ready to get away from everything, but I just always knew my adulthood would be spent outside of Crosby, TX. As I settled into my new home, 110 Kinsolving, I enjoyed the freedom of being able to go out without having to explain who I was with and where we were going. Not only was I appreciating my new found freedom, but I was loving the physical environment of Austin. It is so beautiful to me and feels like the perfect place for a young lady at the age of 19 to start the pursuit her dreams. When I did get a chance to return home, "[I felt] a bit out of place, left out, and almost anxious to return to the dorm" (Andrew). It really does like Austin is my new home whether I want to be or not.

After the first week of being in college, the reality of not being at home with my family and friends began to hit me. My nostalgia for them began to progressively get worse before it got better. I realized that I was homesick for those that are closest to me. I did not miss Crosby at all but my loved ones that I had left behind. The reality that I would probably never be in the same town as my loved ones for the rest of life. I believe I will always go back and visit but not live there. So I had to come up with a plan that would help me deal with my minor case of homesickness. One thing that I have tried my best to do is to regularly keep in touch with my family and friends. For example, I call my best friend Holly, who is in the picture with me to the left, at least once a week and vice versa. She is definately someone I miss alot. "Music evokes past emotions better than anything for me, which makes sense, considering the well-known psychological phenomenon known as state-dependent memory" is something that happens all of the time when it comes to Holly (November_2004). We spent alot of time together, which includes tons of songs sang on our way to the mall or out to eat. At first it was not easy for my mother because she cried for the first month just about everytime I talked to her but now we are back to our normal mother-daughter arguments.

I am still extremely happy to live in Austin, but sometimes I do get a little homesick for the people I no longer see everyday. In the end, I would rather have nostalgia for my loved ones because moving away was the best option for me.

The President's Office

Walking up the stairs to the fourth floor brought a lot of anticipation inside of me. I could not believe I was privileged enough to visit the office of the most important administrator at the University of Texas; the office in which most students, especially freshmen, never get the opportunity to explore. I couldn't help but to think about how it was decorated. I imagined it would resemble the famous Oval Office like the one pictured to the right in the way of it being traditional with old, antique objects and furniture.

Before I could see if I had imagined correctly about the President's Office, we were escorted into the Stark Library, which is the President's conference room. I was amazed to see the large conference table and was surprised that there were exactly eighteen seats to sit all of us that were present. I immediately felt like someone of importance and such an exciting feeling. One of the things I noticed was the ability for all of us to remain our normal selves even though we were in an environment where we should have been on our best behavior. Although we possessed our normal ability to joke around with each, I felt that eased the tension of being in such a serious environment and made it more comfortable for everyone.

The existence of the Stark Library was new to me; I had no idea of its existence before the excursion. It was interesting to learn that the library once contained 12,000 volumes of 19th Century literature. The shelves were still stocked with books, but it is to my understanding that some have been moved to the Harry Ransom Center. Libraries always evoke a feeling of being connected with others of the past inside me; so being in the library made me think of all the individuals that sat in the same room and glanced at those same books. I wonder if they had the same feeling of awe and curiosity as I had.

It was exciting to be in the very room where the President conducts meetings about various aspects of the University and makes decisions about the well being of all the students. I imagine he would be sitting at the head of the table where Professor Bump or Will is sitting in the picture to the left, which would allow him to glance at everyone. The leather seats just added the final touches; it just seems like a decision could be made easily while sitting in comfortable seats. Towards the end of the session in the conference room, I glance up and saw a beautiful chandelier hanging towards the center of the table. I cannot recall its exact appearance, but I know it had green and gold colors elaborating its eloquence. It brought a eloquent and sophisticated design to the room. The visit to Stark Library or conference room was a great introduction to the tour of the Presidential Suite. It provided a sense of tradition with its historical novels and furniture.

In the transition from the conference room into the President's office, I got a chance to see the beautiful architecture on the fourth floor from to the windows all the way up to the ceiling. The images on the stained glass windows were amazing and reminded me of the beautiful stained glass windows in Cathedrals. I was not expecting for the interior to be so exquisite or detailed. The female figures on the windows were clearly distinct and elaborate. The physical features and the different colors helped to portray the word they symbolized whether it was History, Tragedy, or Lyric. Their image was especially clear whenever the light from outside shined through them. I would not expect such design work in the vicinity of the President's office. I am not exactly sure why such decorations were inserted in the offices, but it reminds of what a University stands for and where it comes from. When I think about a University and its President, I immediately focus on the more business side or policy making side of it. I do not think about other colleges and their influences, which are also portrayed in the architecture and design of the various rooms. The representation of Oxford, Cambridge, and Virginia are not apart of my first thoughts for the design of the fourth floor of the Main Building. I am not exactly sure what influence each University has on UT, but I think it was unique to include such influential colleges in the design of our University.

The actual appearance of the President's office was different from what I imagined. It was a lot more personal than I thought it would be. His pictures and displays showed me that he just like an average successful gentleman with love for his family and fields of interest; he apparently like sports portrayed by his picture with Vince Young and the picture of him with ski boards, and he has interest in the field of law with his displays of gavels. I liked the fact that he had an old wooden desk instead of brand new fancy one; it just shows that he is an ordinary man with appreciation of objects with sentimental value. My favorite part of his office was the glass doors that led to the garden.

The garden itself was exceptionally beautiful, and it provided an excellent view of campus and downtown. As shown in the picture to the right, it was a great place for pictures. The garden provoked a sense of peace and calmness from the chaos of the University. Hopefully the President uses it as an escape form the pressures of holding such a position; it just seems like the perfect place to clear your mind and relax from troubles of everyday life. I did not know the President had his own garden outside of his office; it is not visible when looking from down below.

There is another garden outside of the conference room. This one has more decorations than the other one like two benches and a statue. I enjoyed walking around this garden as well; it also struck me as a good place to go and relax or study. Both gardens have the pleasure of being set right in front of the tower. Ending the excursion with the gardens was a good finale to the Presidential Suite. I can only imagine the good feeling the President has as he enters his suite everyday; it was so amazing that it made me want to become President someday.

LBJ Library and Museum

The excursion to LBJ Library and Museum was extremely enlightening and inspiring. The task of finding character traits was not hard to accomplish because there were many stories of different individuals who shaped the history of the United States during the period of Lyndon Baines Johnson's Presidency. I feel that it would only right to start with LBJ himself; on several occasions LBJ showed positive and influential characteristics during the events he faced before and after being President. He was the youngest Senator to ever serve as a Democrat Majority Leader in the Senate. I want to enter the chaotic law arena someday and to see someone assume a role that is usually given to more experienced politicians gives me courage to become a person that is willing to take on roles that is not expected of me. To be a young person in charge shows that leadership and responsibility was seen in you by other colleagues, and it is an extreme privilege to be chosen. Another trait of the President LBJ I would like to possess is how he "represents all the people and must face up to all the problems." This also coincides with my future desire to pursue law; I will most likely want to be in a representative position of some sort and would want to take on all challenges posed to all individuals regardless of race, ethnicity, or other physical aspects. Pictured to the left is a portrait of LBJ, which portrays a younger LBJ probably before the stresses of being President was endured. According to Lady Bird Johnson, "There have been several portraits of my husband, but this is the first one I have liked." I would also like to possess the faith in opportunities the University of Texas has to offer like Lady Bird Johnson; she believed that "all the doors of the world were suddenly swung open to me." She had a positive outlook and image of UT; it seems as if she sought out to make sure good things came here way while she was UT. I want to have the courage to go and get what I deserve. I want to encourage more doors being open to me and embrace the opportunities I will receive at UT.

Another admiral figure was Dr. Martin Luther King. His ability to strive during times of turmoil is definitely a character trait I would like to possess. The Civil Rights Movement was a struggle for individuals that were discriminated against, and MLK showed "...his courage and perseverance in the face of death threats and firebombings of his home [and] inspired tens of thousands of people..." To know you have made a difference in someone's life is a gift that can never be taken away. Even though I don't intend to influence a large mass of individuals, I do intend to help and inspire as many individuals as I can. Pictured to the right is Dr. Martin Luther King speaking in front of thousands of people about his dreams of black people in American society. I was also inspired by all individuals who endured the Civil Rights Movement and was able to make a better life for themselves. I can only imagine the struggles endured by the minorities during this time. I want to possess their willingness to keep going even when times are hard. Leaders are constantly faced with challenges and are not expected to give up when a clear solution is not in plain sight. Leaders are just not responsible for themselves but for others as well so giving up isn't the best option.

Even though the LBJ Library and Museum was filled with wonderful achievements and individuals, the not so pleasant individuals were also represented. I did not find leadership traits in Ku Klux Klan, which was "an organization hostile towards blacks, Jews, Catholics, and foreigners." Sometimes a leader cannot pick and chose who they are going to represent; so being an open minded individual is a must. The KKK were not inspiring leaders; they degraded and inflicted violence against individuals that were different from them. Those are traits I want to stay away from as much as I can. The KKK were not the only ones captured in old views of the United States, but others around the country portrayed hatred against ethnicities that were different than their own. When Private Felix Z. Longoria was killed in WWII, the funeral home director said "we never made a practice of letting Mexicans use the chapel and we don't want to start now." Imagine someone telling you this after your loved one has been killed; I would feel devastated and extremely upset. I want to be a leader that embraces different races and ethnicities and everything they have to offer. Individuals from different walks of life can teach you things you didn't even know existed. Leaders can be more intelligent in their field of work if they have a diverse way of thinking.

A Time For Relaxation

Amongst the chaos of everyday life, we forget to take time out for ourselves and enjoy the environment around us. For me, trying to find a physical place to release the constant flow of thoughts going through my head never crosses my mind. I always turn to the television or internet to provide an alternative to my stressful days. But what I and other people fail to realize is that there are landscapes that serve "as an ideal world of rural simplicity and tranquility" (723).

When I think of a garden, images such as beautiful flowers blossoming like the ones pictured above or fruits growing in rows come to mind. Even though I don't turn to the relaxation of gardening, I watched my great-grandfather plant vegetables and fruits when I was younger. At the time, I did not realize how this exercise helped him mentally and physically. It isn't just the fact of being in a garden that brings relaxation and tranquility but the art of creating your own garden can bring you to mental state where you are able to block out the troubles of everyday life.

I remember when we visited the Taniguchi Gardens and how I felt a sense of change after leaving. It was my first true one on one experience with nature. Not only does the scenery spark a positive feeling, but the serenes of everything including the streams, bamboo, flowers, and creatures forces you to capture the calmness and peacefulness. The architecture of the structures like the one pictured to the left allowed me to get a feel of the culture Isamu Taniguchi was trying to portray. I remember sitting in this particular structure. Even though I was surrounded by other individuals, my mind was still able to slip into a mode of peacefulness and relaxation as I looked at the nature that surrounded me.
Verlyn Klinkenborg describes landscape in terms of, "the feeling is aesthetic, but it's also far more visceral than that: it's the sensation of being exalted and being put back in your place at the same time" (721). I agree that landscape evokes a feeling of beauty or aesthetic and that one brings you to a different place in the present time. Meditation and relaxation are techniques that allow you to escape into a different world that is open to all possibilities. It can be as pleasant and unpleasant as you like; you make the decision of how your process of relaxation is going to play out.

The advantage of having gardens and other landscapes is that individuals have the opportunity to mediate in a peaceful, tranquil place that will heighten their relaxation period. "The experience of being in such landscapes is always powerful, but so is the experience of transition-crossing back and forth from one world to another" (722). Furthermore, places like the Taniguchi Gardens and the Tower Memorial Garden can be one's transition from the real world into their world of relaxation.

Even though the Tower Memorial Garden was created in honor of a tragedy, it still allows individuals to capture the essence of calmness but also allow individuals to meditate on the lives of others. Most of the time during meditation, individuals focus on themselves and the thoughts that are running through their heads. The Tower Memorial Garden still allows individuals to relax and ponder their thoughts, but it presents a specific event to meditate on. The words "Violence," "Chaos," and "Loss" that is portrayed on the north side of the Tower Garden's pond brings about the first stage of meditation for its visitors; one is able to block out the chaos that is happening all around and focus on the tragedy that is represented in the garden. Then, the words "Reflection," "Solace," and "Hope" on the south side of the pond brings individuals into the healing process stage of the garden.

"The circular nature of the memorial encourages the visitor to move from one zone to another, from one kind of emotion to another, from one level of emotion to another, to be transformed and remember" (725). This statement symbolizes the journey made while relaxing or meditating. My meditation period starts most likely with a feeling of a heavy burden or anger. As my meditation continues, my burden lifts and my emotions begin to soften and ease up. by the end, I feel completely different from how I started. Each minute that passes while I am meditating, marks a different emotion; one that is more positive than the previous one. The circular garden pictured to the left is an illustration how relaxation can turn your emotions 360 degrees. The small size of the garden shows how quickly my emotions change while in a state of relaxation.

E. M. Forster brings up a point when he states, "For we of the road do not admit in conversation that there is another side at all" (730). This statement makes me realize that relaxation and meditation are not common topics in conversation. I believe that everyone meditates to a certain extent when they daydream, but the details of such meditations are not discussed. It raises the questions "Do I not meditate in public landscapes because it is not a common exercise?" or "Are people really meditating when you see them in places such as gardens and other similar landscapes?"

The practice of using landscapes as a mode of meditation and relaxation has not been option for me up until now. I have learned that landscapes can bring me into another level of meditation that cannot be reached in the normal realms of sitting in bed or riding in a car. Actually sitting down in Mother Nature and fully capturing the scenery and different objects that contribute to the tranquility of that place will I truly be able to say I have experienced the full power of relaxation.